Thinking Poor

Two scenarios:

Scenario ONE

It is 25 years ago, and my husband and I are in the sewing shop surrounded by exciting fabrics and notions.  We are speaking to our friend who owns the store as she shows us sewing machine models.  The model I have been using is a verified antique bought for me by my mom when she found it on sale and in working condition: we now have two children who are getting older, and we need a more reliable, more modern machine.

We are poor.  I cannot tell you how poor.  The reason we are in this shop in this town is because my husband just got laid off in the great oil bust of the late 1980s, and we have taken the separation money and have moved to his college town so he can finish his degree.  Making clothes is still cheaper (at this time) than buying them, so investing in a sewing machine is a wise purchase.

We look at all the models, even those priced very much higher than we were planning to spend.  Finally we decide:  not the cheapest model, and not the most expensive.  We choose the model from the expensive line that is most likely to be repairable by my husband himself, should it break.  Our friend the shop owner comments on how blessed she is by my husband's attitude in laying out so much money for a sewing machine.  I remember the warm feeling I had as my husband shared with her that he believed in buying the best you can afford because it would last longer and cost less in the end, AND that since he would have done that in buying tools for his garage, he wanted to make sure I got the best tool we could afford for the house.

(I am fat.  She was thin and beautiful.  But I will never forget the day she told me she didn't think her husband would stay with her if she gained any weight.  That's a story for another day…)

Scenario TWO

I know a couple where there are no children in the home, the husband has a great job which pays well.  They are older, and have taken good (maybe too good!) care of their money over the years.  They are not hurting, not by any stretch of the imagination.

However, in their pantry you will find stacks and stacks of ramen noodles, bought on sale.  On every chair in their home you will find a stack of newspapers containing coupons which the wife will try to go through and diligently cut out every coupon and find every sale.  They do not need any more ramen noodles, but they will buy them anyway, if they are on sale--because they are cheap.  They each carry cell phones, but they are used, old models which have not been upgraded in years, and which do not work half the time.  The husband refuses to upgrade to a phone plan which allows texting: If the wife uses more than twenty texts a month, her husband has words with her--her best friend cannot answer the few texts she receives from her because her friend has asked her not to use up her texts by answering.

In their very nice suburban home, which they bought new and have lived there for 12 or 15 years, there are a few problems:  in one case, there are several windows that have become loose and allowed water into the walls, which are now molding and rotting.  The wife tried to explain this to her husband several years ago when all that would have been needed was for the windows to be changed out.  But the husband could not bring himself to spend the money.  Now, however, there is water damage that will cost a lot more than just the replacement windows.

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I could go on.  There are more than two scenarios to illustrate this principle.  Sometimes it seems like I am surrounded by this kind of thinking!

We at our house call this kind of thinking "thinking poor".  There's a pun in there, for those who are wise enough to see it.  And being poor does not necessitate thinking poor.  In fact, in the end, thinking poor causes poverty, I'm convinced of it.

Here's how it works:  thinking poor causes the purchase of the cheapest possible option, no matter the construction or condition of the item.  If it's a couch, you buy it from WallyWorld because they are supposed to have the cheapest stuff:  it says so right there on the t.v.  But...in three years that WallyWorld couch is going to be trashed because it was cheaply made.  You're going to end up back at WallyWorld for a couch AGAIN.

Let's say that instead you do one of two things:  you do without a couch for a time, save up your money, and purchase a little bit better model of couch at the local furniture store down the street.  No, it's still not the best, but it's better than what you had, and it's of good construction.  OR, perhaps you go to the local flea market or thrift shop, and you invest the time necessary to find a good, used couch which is built really well.  In both cases you've invested in more than just a couch.  You've invested in your self-discipline, you've invested in local businesses, and you've invested in an item that will be less of a liability.  This kind of thinking will clearly not lead to poverty.

Compare the futures of these two options:  one will continually be back at WallyWorld purchasing "new" but badly built couches every three years.  The other will pay a little more, but the couch will last MUCH longer.  In the end, the second option is the one that actually MAKES money!

Over time, I have watched many people fall into the trap of thinking poor and I have pondered what goes on "under the hood" of this process.  The best I can come up with is a deep root within the person of a quality you may be surprised to discover:  self-pity (which is a branch of pride, by the way).  Yes, I really believe that self-pity may be at the bottom of a lot of bad purchasing decisions.  Consider this:  the person wants something, but resents the fact that they are "poor" (poor being a variable dependent upon the definition of the person themselves, and not on any objective standard) and feels cheated by life because of it.  So they purchase a "new" item, which makes them feel good about themselves, but they have to purchase it of the cheapest variety because they don't believe their circumstances would ever be better or that they can do anything about it.

In the case of the couple above, they were too "poor" to replace the windows in the home God gave them, but now they discover that they are actually going to be even MORE poor after having walls torn out and replaced along with the windows!  And think about what their decisions concerning cellphones show about them:  they may think they are being wise to keep old phones and ask their friends not to contact them.  But what price are they paying in their relationships because of this?  We may never know:  but I know that it feels somewhat offensive when my friend is allowed to text me, but I am not allowed to text her in return.  A very tiny investment in better phones and a texting plan would repay them many times in relationship credit.  Not only that, but that husband could love his wife by showing how he cares about her friendships--and it would cost so little.

Now, here's a disclaimer:  I am not saying that everyone should ignore their bank balance and their living circumstances and just buy the best of everything for themselves because they deserve it!

I've been poor most of my life--or at least poor as compared to American standards.  I have yet to really miss a meal or spend a night without a roof over my head.  But I have had to watch my money carefully, and there were times in our lives when I would have been taking food out of my children's mouths if I had decided to buy a coke.  So I do know what it's like to be living paycheck to paycheck, not able to afford any extras.

The opposite of "thinking poor" is not "thinking rich".  It's thinking right!  Do the math!  Think through the problem using your head, not your self-pitying heart.  Delay your gratification long enough to purchase an item that will last for awhile and will in that way actually help you get your feet under you--rather than buying an item that is instead going to be a liability and keep knocking your feet out from under you at the worst times.  Buy some ramen if you must, but save some of that money for vegetables:  you can never replace your health, and eating ramen all the time will rather destroy that precious commodity.

Here's another example:  don't shop at the Dollar Store, or any of it's many permutations.  Or if you feel you must, go in there and compare prices.  Just once, look at the price of what you buy in there and then head out to the local grocery store or WallyWorld.  Check the price on the same item.  Dollar Stores are not cheap!  People tend to shop there because it seems like a good concept:  everything is a dollar, right?  Except that what is stocked there is often of the cheapest, most worthless quality, and the price can actually be higher than in other stores in the area.  If you must shop there, be very sure that you have done the math and are buying the best you can afford at a reasonable price.

Another point to be made, and at which I've already hinted, is that thinking poor is not limited to money.  In fact, what I find is that people who think poor about money invariably think poor about just about everything.  Take, for example, the couple and the issue with the phones:  they are not thinking at all about what a cellphone is really for.  They are only thinking about how much the cellphone costs--which is not what cellphones are about.  And what about the coupons?  They are not thinking at all about the items they really need and will use, but rather about their cost.  The wife will use hours of time going through some of those papers and cutting out coupons for things which they will buy but never use, simply because they are on sale.  Her investment of time is not benefiting the Kingdom of God or her family, but rather the opposite.  Consider also their home:  in every chair is a pile of these papers.  Taking the risk of tossing a few coupons that could save them a few cents would make their home so much more pleasant to live in:  would allow them to use their home more often for godly hospitality.  What price are they paying?

1. Think through purchasing and other decisions without self-pity

2. Consider ALL the "costs" involved--not just the money.  Time, stress, relationships, ministry, replacement/repair; all these are costs!
3. Do the math--all of it.

Apply this to coupon shopping, for instance.  First of all, make sure that shopping with coupons is not a way of saying "poor me, I'm so poor, I can only afford what I want if I shop with coupons."  Be careful also that it is not a way of being prideful; "I am a good shopper because I save money by shopping with coupons".

Then, consider all the costs involved:  yes, that coupon may allow you to purchase 6 cans of minestrone soup for a dollar: 12 if you can borrow the newspaper from your neighbor who never uses coupons, and take it to a second store to get another deal.  But your family HATES minestrone soup!  And what about the time it took you to cut out all those coupons?  Is it possible there was a better use of your time?  If not, then fine.  But be sure.  And what about the gas involved in going to BigLots for bread and cooking oil, WallyWorld for Hamburger Helper, and Kroger for hamburger?

This is one reason I do not shop using coupons on a regular basis.  I have shopped around my area, found the establishment which generally has the best prices on most items which I normally buy at the best quality, and I restrict myself to shopping there.  It does not cost me precious time searching for or cutting out coupons (time which I could be spending with my kids), gas and travel time (driving from one establishment to another to get the best deals on all the different items I use), nor stress and frustration.  It's a good deal in more than just cents!

Thinky Things

So far I have yet to mention scripture at all concerning this subject.  Allow me to just list several below that I think are applicable.  If you don't agree or you can't see how one applies, leave a comment saying so and I'll try to explain.

Lastly:  ask yourself this:  what if God thought about His sacrifice for your salvation the way you are thinking about your money or time expenditures?

Proverbs 6:10–11

Proverbs 26:12

Proverbs 26:16

Ecclesiastes 5:10

Isaiah 55:2

Matthew 6:24–34

Matthew 10:16

Matthew 25:24–29

Matthew 26:6–13

1 Timothy 6:10–11

Hebrews 13:5